Thursday, February 28, 2013

28 Days of Tweets

 It's a short month, but there was a lot to say.

The amazing thing about books? No passwords. Magazines? No address to remember--they remember yours.
By Chris Steller

When people text me "plz" because it's shorter than "please," I text back "no" because it's shorter than "yes."
By Irene Adler

Saying we'll meet future food demand by boosting yields alone, not cutting food waste, like saying "Drill, Baby, Drill" is an energy policy.
By Jonathan Foley

The best graffiti I've seen in a while:
Jimi Hendrix painting on a wall, where the wall ends at top a tree continues his afro
By Simon Ricketts

I wish life could be more like vacuuming. That instant gratification and satisfaction of progress and accomplishment.
By Kate Borman

This is your weekly reminder that it's possible to care about multiple things simultaneously.
By Alyssa Rosenberg

I'm not procrastinating. I'm renegotiating my deadlines.
By Ryan Dow

A modern school is one that allows children to have full reign of their learning, where teachers are mentors and facilitators.
By Nikhil Goyal

There are centuries of wonderful things to read. Decades of brilliant things to watch. Newness is a flimsy trick.
By Erin Kissane

I humbly submit the NYTimes replace David Brooks' and Thomas Friedman's column space with letters from unemployed Americans.
By allisonkilkenny

Strangely the idea of "pathological racism" is still with us. Much easier to confront than actual racism with particular political aims.
By Ta-Nehisi Coates

Democrats: 1+1= 2 Republicans: 1+1= 3 Media: 1+1= 2.5
By National Park Guy

ICYMI ... you missed it.
By Chris Steller

Short answer to "Is DC really like that" for House of Cards fans: No. Not remotely.
By Julian Sanchez

This should be Vermont's new tourism slogan.

Bill O'Reilly frame grab with text
By Tim Carvell

At a conference today? Why not tweet loads of quotes that don't make sense out of context? Your friends will really appreciate it.
By L Johnston

One day our cat had finally touched everything in the house with his anus, so he packed his tiny suitcase, put on his hat, and left forever.
By Scott Simpson

OK autocorrect, you win. They're not robocalls, they're robot alms.
By Chris Steller

I am not fully in a city not my own until I use its mass transportation system.
By Robert O. Simonson

Prezi: because motion sickness is what bad PowerPoint presentations are really missing.
By Bob O'Shaughnessy

The world is much more interesting than any one discipline. Also disciplines tend to become about themselves, not their substantive content.
By Edward Tufte

To look bad ass, ate fortune cookie whole, fortune and all, but nobody notice and now feel sick worried wondering what fortune say.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

When we justify a casino, a prison, a pipeline based only on job creation irrespective of the harm that is done, we have truly lost our way.
By Ken Greenberg

As a Brit, right up until now, I thought American satirists invented Grover Norquist as a shorthand for "ludicrous republican".
By Willard Foxton

Why use intrusive, unconstitutional cameras for red light runners when we could post volunteer snipers at each intersection?
By Charlie Quimby

Why is good reporting always dubbed "old-fashioned reporting?" Wasn't any old-fashioned reporting bad?By Mark Leibovich

While we're on the subject, why do we say "meteoric rise?"
By Dave Gilson

Between the Poop Cruise and the Russian Meteor, it's a feeding frenzy for media reporting "Scary Sh*t That Will Never Happen to You!"
By Jonathan Foley

It's amazing how much widespread support there is for the Earned Income Tax Credit every time we talk about raising the minimum wage.
By Dean Baker

"We just want to make sure this kind of thing never happens again" means "We're suing his ass for everything he's got."
By Charlie Quimby

The filibuster on Hagel is entirely Harry Reid’s fault. He had the chance to reform the filibuster. He opted to trust Turtle McTortoisface.
By Damien Sorresso

More power for women is a life-or-death issue for survival of our species.
By Free Public Transit

Knight Foundation regrets Jonah Lehrer's $20,000 speaking fee, decides to instead pay him with 20,000 photocopies of $1 bills.
By Tim Carvell

We'll know that reforms are working when kids are as excited to come to school as to when they leave.
By Nikhil Goyal

Everyone's butts on display in leggings make me long for the days when mini skirts were risqué.
By Kristen Schaal

I'm confused by GOP argument that we should burn coal cuz god put it here. Didn't god also put the sun there? Can't we harness that instead?
By Stop Glenn Beck

Imagine if a rapper had 1. Threatened the President 2. Brandished assault rifles 3. Got invited to the State of the Union 4. Showed up in jeans.
By Anil Dash

Imagine what else Obama could be doing now if he didn't inherent a recession, a screwed up budget, and two wars?
By Jonathan Foley

It is not only wrong that a person who works full-time lives in poverty, it is immoral. It is irresponsible, reprehensible and disgusting.
By Jodi Jacobson

If we ban large magazines, what will happen to Brides Monthly?
By Chris Steller

I like this: @ZacFox: I'm giving up the letter 'N' for let
By Tim Minchin

It makes me chuckle to think that 50-100 years from now, some poor sociology graduate student will be writing a thesis analyzing Tweets.
By Jonathan Foley

Puppy, taking a nap mid-meal:

Puppy sleeping beside food bowl with ears flopped up
By Emergency Cute Stuff

Creepy tree, abandoned car, field of long dead grass. All my favorite spot overrun by shitty rock bands taking promo photos.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

When I heard that the Pope resigned my first thought was, "Great. Another tenured position that could be converted to four adjunct lines."
By Siva Vaidhyanathan

Instead of assuming that people are dumb, ignorant, and making mistakes, assume they are smart, doing their best, and that you lack context.
By Nicholas C. Zakas

Over 17 meters of snowfall in Hokkaido, Japan:

Coach bus driving in snow-packed road between flat-sided snow walls two stories high
By Earthpics

"I'm going to get a tattoo that says 'Helvetica' written in Arial. When a woman corrects me on it, I will marry her."
By Shelby White

Eleanor of Aspartame
By Chris Steller 

Does the GOP realize if they drive the USPS out of business, they'll have nothing left to name when pretending to work?
By Joshua Lyman

What is life really but a series opportunities to make faces at things?
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

If I'm building a team, I'll take generalists who are addicted to learning over specialists who are addicted to thinking they already know.
By Kyle Wild

I love the mentality of America's new oligarchs. Not only do they want to freely pillage, but they actually want us to be grateful.
By Stop Glenn Beck

How about doing news stories about schools where there AREN'T mass shootings?
By Chris Steller

Fracking one single well requires 7 million gallons of water, plus additional 400,000 gallons of chemical additives.
By OMB Watch

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